i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
