it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
