She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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