Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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