the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
