Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
whose parrot is this?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
