Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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