never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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