whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
