yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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