we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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