Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
