He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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