Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
