well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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