The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
