I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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