1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
