Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
