Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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