ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
