My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
