I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
