Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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