Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize