): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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