hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
