I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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