HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
