Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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