No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This is the high leading the old right now
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize