this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
