i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
