i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
3pm strippers are depressing
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
