Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Panties = found
Randomize
