He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
