Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
