Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
