and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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