Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize