dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
