Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
