we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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