You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
