drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize