Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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