She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
