i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
