I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
