We named our party play list daddy issues
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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