I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
