I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
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It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
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I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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