We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
