dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
