no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
