i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
