I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
