Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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