Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize