My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Vodka?
Forever.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
