apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize