I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
