fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
