You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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