eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
